Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
