Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
