My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
