i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
