she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
