U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
