It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
