i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
