So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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