shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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