Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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