You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
