living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
