Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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