You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
