no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
