Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
