Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
