How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
