So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
false alarm, still single
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