Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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