maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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