Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
