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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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• (714): View more from California

  Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick

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• (516): View more from New York

  We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo

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• (310): View more from California

  Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(

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• (407): View more from Florida

  HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?

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