Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
