Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
