im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
