i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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