i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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