You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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