I feel great
I just peed on a car
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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