super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
