the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
