I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
