11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
