i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
