i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
