good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
