You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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