I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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