I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
