Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
