Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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