oh god the rape fog is back!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
