Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
