Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
zippers are such a cool invention
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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