is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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