shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
