What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have peed in a lot of sinks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
