I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
