Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i think my tv is drunk
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
