I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
